How to Talk to a Partner or Family Member About Going to Therapy
Key Takeaways:
You can’t force therapy: Your role is to offer support, not persuasion.
Choose the right moment: Private, calm, and relaxed settings work best.
Lead with care: Use “I” statements, avoid judgment, and show empathy.
Listen actively: Focus on understanding, not offering solutions.
Normalize therapy: Frame it as a healthy, proactive step for self-growth.
Address barriers: Offer guidance on cost, logistics, or starting a session.
Reassure your support: Therapy complements your care—it doesn’t replace it.
We often hear that social support is essential for mental well-being—and it's true. As someone's trusted confidant, you play a vital role in their emotional life. You're often the first to hear their struggles, fears, and aspirations. Yet there may come a time when you realize your support alone isn't enough. Maybe you've noticed them cycling through the same concerns without resolution, or you recognize that your personal connection makes it difficult to offer objective guidance.
Watching someone you care about struggle can be difficult, especially when you know therapy could help. But approaching the topic can feel tricky—you may worry about pushing them away or saying the wrong thing. This concern is a well-known!
Let's explore how to have this important conversation.
Understand Your Role
It’s important to remember: you cannot convince someone to go to therapy. Your goal is to offer support, not judgment. The decision to seek help must ultimately be theirs.
Choose the right time and place: Find a calm, private moment. It’s best to avoid bringing it up during conflict or stress.
Focus on care: Lead with concern rather than criticism. Use non-stigmatizing language and assure them that you will support them throughout the process.
Use “I” statements:
Say, “I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed lately, and I’m concerned,” rather than, “You’ve been distant.”
Be specific and compassionate: Reference concrete observations without judgment, like, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed frustrated or unhappy with your hobbies recently.”
Set a positive tone:
Invite them to talk in a relaxed setting. Maybe during a walk, tea, or coffee.
Be curious about their feelings. Avoid blame.
Acknowledge that seeking support is a normal response to difficulty.
Continue with Patience and Compassion
Your loved one may respond with resistance or defensiveness, particularly if they're already hesitant about therapy. This is a normal reaction and not a reflection of your approach.
Remember: this is a genuine conversation about your concerns and feelings, not a persuasive pitch.
Active listening is paramount. This means providing verbal and non-verbal cues that demonstrate you're truly hearing them, while resisting the urge to immediately offer solutions.
Active listening tips:
Lean in, nod, and maintain eye contact.
Put away distractions.
Ask open-ended questions.
Reflect back what you’ve heard to show understanding.
Express your willingness to support them without trying to solve their problems.
The goal is to create a safe space where they feel heard, respected, and understood.
Address Concerns and Misconceptions About Therapy
Many people hesitate to seek therapy due to myths, fears, or logistical barriers. You can help by gently normalizing therapy and offering practical support.
Common myths and helpful reframes:
“It’s too expensive.” Therapy costs vary, and options include workplace benefits, sliding scale fees, or subsidized programs.
“I have friends; I don’t need therapy.” Supportive relationships are invaluable, but professional guidance offers a different kind of expertise.
“My problem isn’t serious enough.” Therapy is not a sign of weakness—it’s a proactive step toward self-awareness and growth.
“It will be too painful.” Therapy may be challenging, but it can also provide relief and new perspectives.
“It takes years to work.” Some challenges can be addressed in a few sessions. Suggest starting with a short-term trial.
Offer practical support:
Help them explore therapists using reputable directories such as Psychology Today or TherapyDen (They can filter and search based on their preferences!).
Offer to accompany them to the first session or wait nearby if it eases anxiety.
Respect confidentiality and their pace. Don’t push them to share details unless they choose to.
It's worth emphasizing that therapy is a highly confidential and private process. Licensed therapists are bound by rigorous legal and ethical standards that ensure quality care and protect client privacy.
Reaffirm Your Support
Seeking therapy requires courage. Above all, let your loved one know you are there for them. Reinforce that your conversation comes from care, not criticism, and that professional support is a complement to—not a replacement for—the love and connection you already share.
By approaching the topic with empathy, patience, and practical guidance, you can help your loved one take a meaningful step toward mental wellness.
With Care,
Ronelle
Jackson Therapy & Consulting | Omaha, NE
Ready to take the next step toward greater emotional balance and meaningful growth? At Jackson Therapy & Consulting, we specialize in personalized individual therapy, intensive therapeutic support, family intensives, and professional consultation designed to help you navigate trauma, relational challenges, life transitions, and more with evidence-based strategies and compassionate care.
Discover how our approach can support your healing journey. Explore our services or book a free consultation today to begin moving from stuck to empowered.
